LONELY MOM DESIRES: A hot collection of taboo mom son stories (LONELY MOM STORIES)

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We didn’t know what we might unearth, particularly when my mother was alive, and we don’t know what [the half-sister] had been told. We might potentially upset her a lot as well, because we don’t know what she has been told about her parenthood. I know intellectually he was an awful father, but from an emotional point of view, I just loved him. I was aware it was something I shouldn’t talk about. Without saying, ‘you must keep this a secret’, I knew that you must keep it a secret.

If I want vastly better relationships, I need to look deep at what is bubbling to the surface. I need to feel the bubbling emotion and heal it. No real tragedies to report. Yet, life can feel overwhelming sometimes, especially to a small child. Any child. She said that she’d had a relationship, quite a long standing relationship with a woman and that her parents had written her a letter saying that if there was any form of relationship going on, that they didn’t approve and that it wasn’t an appropriate way to live a life.” I have developed a capacity to hunt down deep driving forces within myself. I have developed the muscle for sometimes telling the radical truth about myself, to myself. It is a practice of getting quiet, looking for it, and feeling the feelings.She retrieved a blanket from the closet and placed it over him. He groaned softly, letting out some of his tension. The sound drifted as if from a far-away planet. It didn’t ruin our relationship but it definitely altered it. If she had said, ‘I’m sorry I probably should have told you, but I felt I shouldn’t, can you forgive me?’ then it might have been different.” Don’t like ads? Become a supporter and enjoy The Good Men Project ad free Never mind that she is still asleep.

I then asked, ‘does anybody else know?’ and she said, ‘no, I will go to the grave with this and you are to tell nobody.’ The way she fixed her gaze on me, when she said that, I knew she was serious.I didn’t think that I could ever forgive my mum, but it’s your mum, you’ve got to forgive, you have to. That was the first time that it was mentioned, and it had never been discussed before. And funnily enough it was never talked about afterwards. We didn’t talk about it even after the word had been uttered by the psychiatrist. By that stage, we had 40 years worth of not talking about it. What makes me a better man now is my awareness of the difference between my wounded little boy talking and my integrated mature self speaking. There’s power in telling the truth about it. My mother’s whole family, they all knew. All her brothers knew. And my dad knew. Everyone knew except me. Even my dad’s sister knew evidently. How didn’t I know for the whole of my life?” As a little boy, I decided that I “have to be a good boy” to keep the loving attention of mom. Someone else might have decided that being a “bad boy” was the best way to get mom’s attention. As the oldest of four kids, “good boy” was my role.

Fortunately, my mother is still alive and well. That means that any unfinished business with her gets triggered directly by her. Often. Unfortunately, that unfinished business seems to also sneak its way into my relationships with other women, much of the time.I’ve been able to have a career, have a family, and still be gay. My mum was technically denied the one thing she wanted, which was to be with probably the woman she loved. Now whether that was a relationship that would have continued, for the rest of her life, I don’t know. It all just got too much for me. It was all I could think about. I couldn’t pretend any longer to my mum. My dad didn’t deserve it anymore, I had to get it out.” Kenny stretched, then turned on his side. His memories were like a movie reel. The best part was yet to come. My mum thought we should be more upset about her and what she’d gone through, and not the fact that she hadn’t told us. I feel betrayed, angry. I understand but I still feel angry. It makes me feel sad as well. I still have trouble believing that my dad isn’t my dad because we got on so well and we looked quite alike.